One of my favorite desserts

I made a pina colada poke cake tonight. Seriously it's so good. It might even be better if you wait overnight like you're suppose to but I've never been able to do that. The problem with not waiting is its still warm and the topping melted off. What's not a problem with not waiting though was I got to eat it tonight and its SO good.

My sister was the first one to ever make this cake for me. Hers were better than mine. Now that I think about it maybe that's because she did let it sit in the fridge overnight. I hope she knew it was one of my favorites and I'm thankful she showed me the recipe. Seriously, what's not to love. Make one. You'll see. YUM!!!

Feeling southern

Anytime I fry something I feel southern. I spent a lot of my childhood visiting family in the south but only lived there for 1 year. The rest of the time I've lived in Kentucky which is almost a southern state but not quite.
A week or so ago we went out to dinner and my daughter ordered fried green tomatoes. I don't even like them but for some reason they've been stuck in my head. So today I made some. I should have taken a picture of the earlier batch before the oil got dark. My daughter said she could NOT taste the difference between mine and the ones she ordered at the restaurant. I'd call that a major success.

Several months ago I got a blooming onion through the outback take out for my husband and daughter to share. She didn't share. My poor hubby. Well I finally got around to doing something similar at home. I fried onion rings. They both had PLENTY and they thought they were delicious. 

I rarely fry food so I'm glad the onions and maters turned out so well today. 

This is the recipe I used for the green tomatoes. I didn't use a recipe for the onions.

http://www.closetcooking.com/2009/09/fried-green-tomato-blt.html?m=1

It makes cooking more fun when I share my kitchen with this cuteness. 

Returning to "Through the years"

A month after I wrote the through the years post my sister died. I had been doing great that month and was jogging and counting calories. After that month my world crashed and I ended up gaining more weight. It's been over a year and I'm still in shock and denial most days. Other days I'm still angry and sad beyond belief. I need to lose weight though. I went over the 250 lb mark but I'm currently at 245. I wanted to be thin again by 30. My birthday is this month, I'll be 33. Here's hoping this will be my year!

Smoothies

I've started making smoothies for my daughter almost everyday. Sometimes for breakfast and sometimes for a snack. Since she loves them and I'm not creative I have pinned over 100 on pinterest. Today's recipe was technically for a juice but I took out the ice cubes and added some vanilla yogurt and it was more of a smoothie. The recipe can be found here: http://84thand3rd.com/2013/03/08/summer-cantaloupe-cucumber-mint-green-juice/

J gave it 4 stars. I hate cucumber and cantaloupe so I didn't even taste it.

Through the years.....

Timeline of weight

 

1998

 

1999

with my BFF

2000

130 - 135 lbs (7/2000)

Then I moved, moved again, got married, had several jobs, got pregnant, moved again, worked, had a baby, separated from my husband, moved again, tried going to college with no babysitter and no vehicle.

 

2002

140 - 145 lbs (9/2002)

Then I met my current husband, had another baby, moved, worked at a casino, finalized divorce, married current husband, tried college online with two tiny kiddos at home, worked at a factory, I was diagnosed with psoriasis and we moved again.

 

9/02 before I was pregnant with second baby

10/02  

2005





160 lbs (10/2005)

Then my husband went overseas for almost a year, my son started preschool early for speech delay, my daughter started therapy and was diagnosed with autism, broke my foot and I started having health issues which was eventually diagnosed as PCOS. 

right before he went overseas
 

2006

175 lbs (8/2006)

Went through a few major issues in marriage, son was diagnosed with Tourette syndrome, bought a house, stepson moved in and then out and then in and then out again, lots of therapies for kids, lots of different kinds of doctors for kids, I was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis, lots more stress that I couldn't possibly remember it all.

early summer 2006
 



end of 2006

 

 

2007

mid 2007

             2009 

230 lbs (5/2009)

 

2010

202.5 lbs (10/2010)

 

2011

209.3 lbs (6/2011)

june 2011

                                                  2012

212.3 lbs (5/2012)

2012



2012

 

 

2013

218.9 lbs (5/2013)

may 2013



Oct 2013

2014

227 lbs (5/2014)

Feb 2014

April 2014

 

 

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Due to my height to be in normal weight range would be anywhere between 120 lbs to 161 lbs. I think I am medium framed so no way would 120 be a good weight for me plus from past experience I know 130 is the lowest I could ever go without looking really odd. My goal is 140 lbs which would put my bmi at 21.7..... which is right in the middle so that would be great. That's 87 lbs to lose. I wonder if I could do 2 lbs a week for 43.5 weeks..... so that would make it around March 8, 2015.

 

I am hoping that by putting this out there I will stay motivated. I am not shy about my weight. I am not embarrassed. Maybe it's because I allow myself to have excuses and reasons for gaining it. I do not handle stress well and trust me, I've had more than my share of stress. Genetically I come from overweight people... my DNA is FAT! :) Plus PCOS makes gaining weight a breeze but losing it a nightmare. While I guess I am excusing my past behavior and forgiving myself, I am not going to just sit by any longer and continue to gain. I have 4 members of my family that has had gastric bypass surgery... one died essentially due to complications, and the other 3 might have better lives in some aspects but they've also been a lot sicker so they've had complications also. I want to lose the weight the healthy way.

 

This time next year I will be healthy!!!!! 

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Thank You Jesus!!!!

I cannot believe how alive and wonderful I feel after getting fabulous results back from my CT scan. I wanna run and jump and HUG MY KIDS... and most importantly I've been THANKING MY GOD!!!!! A bad xray sure made me crazy. I am so glad this past week is over and it ended on the sweetest note possible. Healthy has never felt so good!!!!

Hopefully

Well my dermatologist sent me to have blood work, a TB skin test and a chest xray so she could put me on an oral medication for my psoriasis & psoriatic arthritis. I didn't think anything of it. I've done it before several times.
I think my blood work came back fine.
My TB skin test was read as negative but it did turn reddish and swell a little bit. At the time it was read it was about 3mm but it has continued to swell. I'd say it's probably twice that size now. BUT I did find out from my dad and brother that we are carriers. I do not know exactly what that means but I do know it can cause false positives on the skin test so not to rely on that.
My chest xray showed a nodule. I have not been told much more than that. I don't know which lung (not that that matters), I don't know for sure that it is just one but I think it is, I don't know the size or shape (according to the Internet research I've been doing, an xray won't see it if it's smaller than 1cm and it would not be referred to as a nodule if it was larger than 3cm so that does give me some idea of the size of it, I also know the smaller and smoother it is the less likely it is cancerous). I have a CT scan with contrast scheduled for tomorrow. I was told by a doctor, not my doctor, that it was probably scar tissue. He had not seen the xray but he had seen the directions saying I needed another xray or a CT scan. The Internet said that lung nodules found in people under age 35, that only 1% of them are cancer. I keep thinking, 1%, that's not a bad percentage at all. Then I think, well someone has to be that one percent. How can I be so sure it wouldn't be me?! My husband is sure it's scar tissue even though I'm like, from what??? No flu, no pneumonia, no odd career concerns, so from what??? The only option that I found online that even seemed possible was some inflammation thing that could spontaneously cause scar tissue but besides that I am leaning towards, there is no reason I'd have scar tissue there. I'm also a worrier, so I worry. I also tend to feel like if something could go wrong it will go wrong. I mean seriously, the percentage that a woman will have gone through what I've gone through by age 29 has got to be rare. I have psoriasis, psoriatic arthritis, my son has Tourettes and allergies and did have other issues that seem to be better now, my daughter has autism, weight issues, sleep problems, IBS, I have weight issues, oh my son and I both have eye problems, I failed in my first marriage and more often than not it seems that I am failing at this one too, I have major baggage from my childhood (lots of stuff I could list from that time period), I flipped my car while trying to put chap stick back in my purse... I mean I seem to be the queen of misfortune. I have blessings, I do. I know that God loves me. BUT I seem to have a life full of issues. Because of that, I do tend to expect the worst... so the night before a CT scan to look at a nodule on my lung is a night of worry.
I hate dealing with this worry alone. I will be alone tomorrow too. And the day I get the results, I will be all alone.
Maybe being alone is okay, maybe it's better to deal with the good or the bad myself first, instead of sharing the news right away with others. Hopefully I will be sharing great news. Hopefully it was a flawed xray and there is nothing there.

HOPEFULLY!