Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Nightmare

Do we ever get too old for nightmares? Probably not...
My dream tonight was stupid but still left me with such a horrible feeling that I had to get up and check on the kids and then ended up just staying up, even though it wasn't even 4am yet.
I had a dream that the news was interviewing some people on the street my dad lives on, which is 4 hours away from here. It showed my dads house once so I called into the other room that dads house was on TV. Then when they showed it again I somehow teleported to the front yard. The news crew was gone not that that mattered. I talked to the people that were being interviewed but that's the part that I don't really remember, I don't remember why they were being interviewed or what I talked to them about. I went inside my dads house and my sister that lives in Ohio was there so I asked why she was there and she told me not to worry about it.
In real life she's not talking to me because the whole family has a tendency to argue with each other but I refused to go seek therapy with this sister because I don't have the time and it's a stupid request. So since I won't do exactly what she wants me to do she won't speak with me. She has stopped speaking to other family members in the past, it is her way to get what she wants. Immature & spoiled, I know.
But back to the dream....
So I went and talked to my dad. He has a way of turning a quick hello into an all day event. So I ended up being there for 2 hours and once I realized that I freaked out. I had to drive 4 hours to get back home before the kids woke up. It was too late, it was like 4am in the dream. My car was there (don't know how that happened, mysteries of dreams right....) but it had less than a quarter of a tank of gas. Not only couldn't I drive the trip in time but now I had to stop for gas. I have no clue why but my passenger kept switching from my husband to my sister and there was a puppy with us. So we jumped in the car and rushed out of town, I dropped my passenger off as a fast food place while I ran next door to get gas. By the time I was finished with gas she (my sister now) was back in the car. The gas was weird though. The opening to my tank was underneath the backseat of my car and the gas overflowed and got everywhere and I remember hoping that would not be a fire risk before jumping back in the car to rush to my kids. When I glanced in the back seat, maybe to back up or something, I noticed the puppy had peed on the seat but at this point I didn't even care. (Why is there a puppy in this dream???)
So I am rushing to get to my kids and thinking who can I call that's closer, who can get to them before me?! I couldn't think of anyone then but now that I am awake I can think of a few people I'd call.
So technically nothing horrible happened in my dream cause I woke up while still driving. Saying things out loud sometimes makes me feel a little better so I told my husband when I woke up (he was just coming to bed, he works night shift so on his days off he stays up most of the night, silly sleep schedules) that I would never leave the kids. He was either too sleepy to care or knows me well enough not to even ask. What I say doesn't have to make sense, just nod. :-p
I had to check on the kids though. I still have a slightly uncomfortable eerie feeling. I would never leave my kids. It has always been a huge fear of mine. While driving somewhere there have been many times that I've had to look back to double check that I've put them in the car. It's been that way their whole lives, they are 8 and 10 now. Oh the damage our parents due to us but that's another tale altogether.

My kids

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